LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER
It wasn’t as if she was unhappy or tired of life, she was just restless. Anxious for something to happen … like she knew it was coming around the bend, but she didn’t know what it was exactly or where to find it. She just knew someone or something was calling for her and somehow she needed to get ready for it. A yearning that needed to be satisfied or fulfilled.
Looking back, it probably began the year after her parents died. About the time all the paperwork was done and all their affairs were settled, Carole went to a psychic who specialized in communicating with the dead. She needed to find out for herself what really happens when one dies and whether her parents were still around her and still involved with the family. She wasn’t expecting to hear anything about her own life. She just wanted to know if they were ok and to get real proof (for herself and others) that they had survived.
Taking careful notes, Carole listened to the psychic describe how her mother looked in this life, her favorite dress and the open-toed sandals she used to wear. He also spoke of a father figure who was playing poker and liked to fish just like her Dad did. Names of friends and relatives were also relayed … even the family dachshund that her Mom used to cook scrambled eggs for every morning. All of this seemed like pretty good validation to Carole, but it wasn’t until her mother said she had Carole’s brother with her in heaven (the child that she aborted when Carole was only 2 1/2) that Carole was positive this was her mother talking. As far as Carole knew, she was the only one who knew this family secret. It was told to her many years later after her parents had divorced, when her mother explained that she had decided at the time not to keep the baby because she was planning to leave Carole’s father for another man. But in the end, her parents stayed together for another 30 years, a chaotic marriage that had more downs than ups … where there was too much drama and not enough love. A chemical explosion that was interesting to watch but painful to live with. Each one stronger and better on their own … but bound together by a rope of responsibility and a fiscal fear of the unknown.
For years, Carole recognized that her parents were mismatched and wanted more for them. So when they finally separated, she helped both of them make the adjustment. But secretly inside, it hurt to see them move on with new relationships and to realize that the family dynamics were changing … and even worse, to see that none of them really belonged together anymore. So when there was a pause in the reading and Carole had a chance to ask a question, what she most wanted to know was whether her parents had worked it out in the afterlife and were somehow together again. Still thinking of them as her only family, she couldn’t imagine life in heaven without them and even had dreams of both of them standing together to greet her when she herself passed over. But when her mother replied that she was no longer with her father and was back with a man she loved when she was younger, Carole was crushed … but also confused. Her mom had mentioned many boyfriends over the years. Which one was she referring to, and was it anyone she might have met? “He is showing his face to me now,” said the psychic, “…. and he looks just like Tony Curtis.”
It was then that Carole started to cry. It had gone too far, and she did not want to hear any of this now. What was she going to tell everyone when she got home? They all knew she had this appointment. She had been talking about nothing else for weeks, and Carole knew they would grill her about all of it when she returned. She could just imagine their reaction when she told them: “Guess what, gang? Mom’s with Tony Curtis now.” She could hear them laughing, and they would never let her forget this one.
But suddenly, Carole stopped crying when the psychic continued on with the reading. “Your mother is sorry you never had children. She thinks you would have loved being a mom. She is also saying you were supposed to have been a teacher and a writer …. but you married the wrong man too.”
Copyright © 2015 (Michelle Parsons, Getting Back on Your Path). All Rights Reserved.
September 6th, 2015 in
Like Mother
