HER NAME WAS MARY

her name was mary

Her name was Mary.  She was not who others thought she was.  She was much more than that but no one really saw her.  She got lost in the crowd and left behind while others moved on and away.  She tried to catch up and be more like them, but as the years went by, she slowly faded away while the ones she admired the most began to shine brighter.  They were the ones everyone talked about and wondered about.  It was their names that came up over and over again.  Never her name.  Never any interest or curiosity as to what had happened to her or whom she had become. 

They were the special ones.  The chosen ones.  The ones for whom the sun rose for each day.  All the world revolved around them while the rest just walked in circles never getting anywhere.  There was no path and no plan for Mary or the others.  No light that guided them, and no God watching over them.  They were on their own as they had always been, and there were few choices … if any at all. 

She had always wanted more for herself and expected to be “someone”.  She would look in the mirror and sometimes think she looked just like them and wonder why then nothing worked for her.  Why didn’t she matter and why was she still standing at the starting line while the others had already run half the race.  What did they have that she didn’t?  What gifts were they given that she never received? 

When they were young, Mary was part of the in-crowd.  She played with all of them and knew their families and all their secrets.  She would pretend to be their friend so that she could spend time with them and watch them more closely.  Slowly, without even realizing it, she began to be them.  She would talk like them and dress like them.  Whatever they did or wherever they went, she would follow … always taking notes and always thinking they were more special.  But while they became more popular and more successful, her life never changed. 

One day, Mary got the idea to go to a fortune teller and get advice about her future.  She was told that if she changed her name and dyed her hair, she would meet the man of her dreams.  He would “rescue” her from this ho-hum life she was living and give her an exciting adventure that she wanted for herself.  So she did exactly that and chose a name that no one could pronounce (or even spell) and began to re-invent herself.  She was no longer just a Mary.  She was now someone more exotic and more interesting, someone who could attract the attention of someone special. 

Almost immediately, and just like the fortune teller predicted, she met the man she thought she always wanted.  The type that caught everyone’s eye as he passed by.  Both men and women noticed him, and soon they began to notice her as well.  She looked good on his arm, and it wasn’t long before she felt that she had finally made it.  This was the life she was meant to live, and this was the man she was going to live it with.  He had the whole package:  looks, charm and money. 

At first, they were a super couple and everything was going their way.  They were better together than apart, and everything they touched turned to gold.  Others watched them with envy, and even though Mary knew her marriage wasn’t perfect, she believed it was better than anyone else’s and the most one could ever hope to have. 

She never knew exactly when it happened, but one day Mary woke up and saw a stranger in her bed.  She began to watch him with curiosity because she knew he wasn’t the same man she married.  She couldn’t deny that he looked the same.  A little less hair and a few extra pounds … but overall, he looked like the man of her dreams.  But when they would hold hands, it felt awkward.  They just didn’t fit together anymore, and even his hand looked different to her.  Weren’t his fingers longer before, and the wedding ring he used to wear was no longer there.  He kept saying it was too tight and that he needed to get it resized, but for some reason, he never got around to it … and for some reason, she didn’t mind. 

Then she began to realize that she was alone most of the time.  He was always away, either at work or with his family or friends.  They saw each other only at dinner, and even that wasn’t every night.  They went to bed at different hours, and woke up at different times.  Then they began to leave each other notes because it was quicker and easier to communicate that way. 

Before she asked for a divorce, Mary thought long and hard about her choices.  They had spent so many years together, and he was the only family she had left.  She was scared to be completely alone, and she didn’t want to start over again.  She didn’t know who she was without him, yet a nagging voice kept telling her that if she stayed any longer, she would fade away completely.  When she finally saw that it was not him that had changed but her, she walked out the door and never looked back.

Copyright © 2014 (Michelle Parsons, Getting Back on Your Path). All Rights Reserved.

Leave a comment

Your comment