THE TIES THAT BIND

They finally admitted it. They were afraid of their son. Their first born, and the one who was Thomas’ namesake. Head strong and competitive from an early age, TJ began to walk before other children his age. A year later, he had disassembled his crib in the middle of the night and was found in the back yard the next morning trying to catch a tadpole in the pond. More amused than angry, and more amazed than concerned, his parents believed they had given birth to a mechanical prodigy whose gifts should be enhanced and not discouraged. 

He had always had temper tantrums and meltdowns when he didn’t win or couldn’t get his way, but the older TJ got the more determined he became that no one was going to tell him where to go or what to do. By the age of five, his parents had to install alarms on the front and back doors so they knew where he was at all times, and then six months later an outside latch was put on his bedroom door.   They would lock him in when they couldn’t calm him down, and eventually things would return to normal again   … until the next outburst would occur. But it wasn’t until the day that he was locked in for kicking his sister that his parents really began to worry. Less than an hour later, his mother had the shock of her life when she sensed someone behind her in the kitchen. Turning quickly around, she found TJ standing there staring at her with a satisfied but defiant look on his face. Screaming for her husband to come right away, the two of them finally pieced together how he escaped from his locked bedroom. Climbing out of his second story bedroom window and shinnying down their oak tree, he walked the short distance to the corner hardware store and convinced the store clerk to let him charge some tools on his parents’ account. Returning home with them, he then climbed back up the tree and back into the bedroom, and five minutes later, he had the door off its hinges. He was only 8 years old. 

Then there was the incident where they caught him dissecting the neighbor’s pet rabbit and were even more horrified to discover that he had burned it to death first. He had always been fascinated with animals and marine life, but this was the first evidence they had that he ever tortured anything. When word got out about the rabbit, the neighbors started keeping their distance. Who could do something like that to an innocent animal?  But the final straw was the knife episode when he chased after his younger brother and the babysitter one night until they finally sought refuge in the upstairs bathroom, both refusing to come out until his parents had returned home. It was at that very moment they decided they couldn’t live with him anymore. There were two other children whose safety they had to think of, as well as their own, and the counseling and drug treatments were clearly not helping. They had talked to other families who had been through this, and everyone recommended a military school for troubled children who had behavioral and emotional issues and a problem with authority. They agreed that sounded like TJ.

For the first month, there was to be no contact with him as he adjusted to his new environment. Then one call was allowed once a week. Finally a weekend visit nearly three months after they checked him in. But before they would pick him up at his dorm room, his parents had an appointment with the school psychologist to get an update on TJ’s progress. Holding a fairly thick folder of test reports, Mrs. Baldwin hesitated at first at how to begin. She could tell by their anxious faces they were worried about the results. They knew their son, and they knew he was not normal, but could they ever fully comprehend what she was about to tell them? She would start off slowly and ease them into this. An extreme case that needed to be handled delicately. 

So she began by telling them what his strengths and interests were, some of which they knew and some of which they were surprised by. His mechanical aptitude was off the charts. A computer genius as well.  A strong interest in botany, biology, pharmacology and the human brain.  He would make an excellent neurosurgeon or medical researcher. Then she paused for a moment before she began going over his personality traits. How do you tell a parent that, if he was her child, she would have him euthanized or locked up for life? Then she began listing them one by one:  Lacks compassion or empathy. No regard for society or its rules. Loves to watch pain and suffering. Wants to dominate and control. Destructive. Cruel. Sadistic. Morbid fascination with death and dying.  Incapable of love.  Has no feelings. 

Then the diagnosis she was dreading to tell them:   a malignant narcissistic sociopath.

Copyright © 2015 (Michelle Parsons, Getting Back on Your Path). All Rights Reserved.